We’ve all done it (well we think we have all done it): there is something looming in our future that is decidedly uncomfortable, so we just.. avoid it. We do this in an effort to control our experiences, especially when emotions may be strong, unwanted or uncomfortable.
There are lots of ways of avoiding things we don’t want to do or to be around- we can physically and chemically remove ourselves from situations, or we can emotionally distance ourselves.
We can also cognitively avoid things that we don’t want to look at- from simply avoiding thinking about that big old elephant in the room- through to distraction (hello Facebook) or even excessive rumination, where we go over and over the thought without resolution (hello BFFs with glazed-over eyes).
The thing is: the psychology research tells us that avoiding emotions is thought to be one of the most pathological processes anyone can do. And we do it to ourselves. The paradox is: the more we deliberately avoid or try to escape those pesky emotions, the more they are likely to increase in both occurrence and intensity.
Perhaps you’ve already noticed that in yourself? When the lid finally comes flying off that stinky, stifled, can of worms.. and you get covered in ooey, gooey worm guts. (No Sam, it’s not that kind of sour worms we are talking about- stop licking your lips. -Al)
This week, as we step more and more into our Girl Power, we want you to notice what annoying little thoughts you’ve been pushing down/away/squashing. They might be acute ones, pertaining to a stress that is current and will pass soon, or they might be chronic ones that you’ve been sitting on for years. Either way, our oil this month- Ginger- tells us we can take responsibility for our own destiny, and own it, as long as we commit.
In our podcast we will chat about what to do with these emotions you’ve been avoiding. For now, we would love you to take some time to come up with three situations in life where you avoided rather than embraced a difficult or painful emotion. Easy.
Remember: you never do things because you are silly, weak or any other negative thing you can dream up.. you do everything for a reason- so let’s take charge of our resistances and POWER UP.
P.S. A list of common avoidance strategies are in your member area under ‘useful stuff’.