Last week we had a look at our false selves and the different personas we have adopted over our lives. One of the places these personas may come from are our friends and even more likely, our family. In fact it is thought that before the age of seven, and possibly even by two years of age, we have downloaded so much about the world and the people in it, that our values, and therefore many of our beliefs have been set up.
For most of us, our family will be the fertile soil from where our sense of self first begins to grow. Of course, over the years we will nourish and nurture this growth with a myriad of inputs, but it seems that it all begins with family first. Our family is the root system from where our values begin.
This means that our family is important for our sense of identity, our sense of self, and the stories we run. True or not, we base much of the way we show up on these tales.
Often in personal development circles, family connections and inputs are given a bit of a rough time. Probably because we come to PD thinking we want to ‘fix’ something about ourselves, add some insights, or change the way we think/believe/do. But what if we could consider that we are already whole? That we already have everything we could ever need and want, to have a vibrant and delicious life? What if we are already perfect? Our family roots then become something to be applauded and even revered as we acknowledge and give thanks to those roots that run so deep, and which have allowed us to expand and grow.
This week we would love you to have a nice long think about your family: what have your parents achieved? What challenges and triumphs have they had? How have they conducted themselves? And then look back a little further to grandparents and even great grandparents. As we consider our family (Birch) tree we may see flexibility and strength, intelligence and frivolity, successes and perceived failures. It seems that all of us have a lineage that is full of experiences and adventures that are rich and full and fabulous. Yes, there will be heartache and loss, but also joy and fun.
What we choose to see will depend on the filter that we wish to use. We can be like the grumpy dude in Up (our ‘book’ of the month), feeling the loss forevermore, or we can make the decision that we will simply sit on a different branch of our family tree.
Regardless of what we choose, we know that there is plenty of genetic memory there to draw on to help us thrive through almost any experience.
It’s up to us to decide if we like getting rooted or not.