Last week we asked you to get comfortable with the idea that you probably have some preconceived ideas of what makes up both the masculine and feminine. You may have noticed some generalisations and even some deletions, as well as becoming aware that even though you may have thought of some negative traits as being something that men do, you also have the trait within you. (That old mirror mirror concept just keeps on giving doesn’t it?)

In doing this work over the years, we have found that one topic that often springs to mind here is sex. And depending on where you are in your reproductive life, this might be a blissful or burdensome topic. You might feel like you have too much, not enough, or not thrilling enough. Or maybe you just want to go to sleep.

What we know from chick neuro is that in the feminine brain, the structure known as the amygdala is very receptive to stressors, and once it is fired up and alert, it stays alert for much longer than the masculine brain. This allows for fabulous opportunities to protect ourselves and those in our care against threats, but it also means that we are highly attuned to what is going on in the environment. Now this would be all fine and dandy if it did just that, but unfortunately we need our amygdala to calm its farm right down before we are even able to entertain the idea of having sex. Not to mention that magical unicorn: an orgasm. (On a primitive level it makes sense: why would we be stripping off our gear and getting down, if marauding beasts are about to attack our homes, or those we love?)

But what if the marauding beast is a tiny little virus? Or a politician who is unpredictably placing restrictions that affect our lives and livelihoods? Or just the fear that strikes us every time we come across someone wearing a mask and we can’t quite figure out what their facial expressions are, and so we have lost some of our social and emotional intelligence? Or a hundred other things that are nothing to do with corona, but are waking up your li’l amy.

Unless we are aware of the effect of these stressors, we might find that it’s much more of a challenge to get ourselves in the mood for sex, let alone feel relaxed enough to have wild and wonderful orgasms. 

So this week we would love you to consider whether external stressors are having an effect on your feelings of arousal. And if they are, we would love you to think about what you can do to minimise this. Often things that are happening “out there” are outside your locus of control, so you may want to create some strategies to protect you and your bedroom from it all. 

It’s time to defend your libidos, ladies. 

Let’s start thinking about how you can set up a moat around your castle and stop those marauders from attacking your sexy time. 

Have fun this week, relax, and create a space for a cheeky bit of pleasure.