“Alive in each person’s heart is the desire to participate in something bigger than themselves.” 

-Bharat Mitra

Do you feel that too?

Is there a stirring within you to either join in or create something big? (We definitely have that- which is how you find yourself here in The Clique. That desire created it all.) In our book of the month, something that Bruce spoke about really hit us- he agreed that we are biologically programmed to procreate, but more than that, that we need to bond. It seems we require stable and loving connections with other humans, starting with our primary caregivers.

So the very first “bigger thing” that we want to participate in is our family.

And then beyond that we have a desire to be part of a group of friends, work colleagues and even society. If we really think about it, we want to be part of the world. If any of the early bonds are aberrant, then we can spend our whole lives trying to fix “something”. Perhaps not even knowing what that something is. 

The desire to bond is the reason why we form clubs and join teams, it is the reason why sport is a billion dollar industry and why teenagers spend so much time sleeping or just being alone in their rooms, as their brains figure out how this bonding thing works.

We spend a lot of time and energy thinking about our response to bonding, “Do they like me?” “Why didn’t they invite me?” “Did I say too much/not enough?” “Were they mad at me?” Etcetera, etcetera. For most of us, much of this is subconscious (perhaps even up to 95%) and depending on the health of our very early bonds, potentially negative or damaging.

Now this subconscious stuff is a little tricky to see (we will chat more about what to do about this in the coming weeks), but for now, we would love you to take a moment to sit with these questions:

• Am I loveable?

• Do I deserve love?

• Am I enough?

• Do I trust myself?

• Can I trust others?

Allow yourself the luxury of really noticing your answers to these questions. On the surface we might say yes to them all- that’s fab if that’s completely true for you. Try to go a little deeper, and just see what comes up.  

They may well be the key to allowing yourself to participate fully in that “something bigger” that Bharat was talking about. 

Just imagine what we could do.