“She’s a nightmare to work with.”

“Doing my tax is going to be a nightmare.”

“My kids are a nightmare.”

“Trying to work around this corona stuff is a nightmare.”

We use the word nightmare quite a bit, mostly without really thinking about what a true nightmare is. When you wake up in the small hours, momentarily in that state where you don’t know if you are awake or asleep, shaking with fear, you realise that your brain really doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. So where do these nightmares come from? How do they serve us? Is there something useful in these nighttime fears?

Of course you will guess: we think there is. We know that our brains and our bodies always work to serve us and that our innate intelligence is always working for our greatest good, so when we have nightmares, or even just unsettling dreams, it’s an opportunity to take notice. In the podcast this week we will chat about some of the external causes of nightmares and general sleep disturbances, and once they are ruled out, we can look at the internal ones. And this is where the fun begins.

When we have traumatic dreams, frequent waking or just generally disturbed sleep, it can be a sign that we have daytime concerns that we either aren’t dealing with, perhaps pushing them down in the ‘busy’ of life, or perhaps we don’t have the resources to deal with them. So our evening de-frag can be an opportunity to look at what these signposts are telling us, and giving us a nudge in the direction of healing. 

Say for example you notice you have a recurring nightmare when you are overwhelmed, you could use this dream as your trigger to simplify your day, ask for help, or take some time to do some self-soothing. Yes, we know at the point of overwhelm that may seem overwhelming in itself (hello there vicious cycle) but a few moments of deep breathing is something you could easily implement to remind (or trick) your brain that it’s all going to be okay.

This week we would love you to take some time to do three things: 

1. Take a look at your dreams and nightmares. Is there a pattern to when you have disturbed sleep? Is there an external cause (looking at social media, getting overtired, eating late at night) or is it more like to be internal (body chemistry imbalances, stress, incomplete cycles)?

2. See where you can nip things in the bud and create a state where you are more likely to be able to have a golden, restful sleep. And yes, we know some of the causes might not be small. But acknowledging them is the first step toward making change for the better. If you need some help, we are right here to assist.

3. Do a bedtime audit. What things are you doing that are less helpful in you getting a good sleep, and what could you do to improve? Some of the secrets to a good night’s sleep are as simple has having a regular routine, a set bedtime (I have a ‘bedtime reminder’ on my phone with a nice little chime to remind me to start my wind-down time. -Al). Some of the other secrets to a good sleep are cheap, free and extremely pleasurable (Yes, we went there- in our book a good orgasm beats a cup of chamomile tea any day of the week.. you could even have both!)

We know sleep, dreams, and nightmares are things that are much talked about and something we all take for granted, but imagine a life where you really harness your subconscious mind, and use all of that grey matter for your greatest good and thriving. 

Wishing you Sogni d’oro!