Some of you might remember a TV series from the 70s called Get Smart. It was a show about a bumbling secret agent (Maxwell Smart) and his partner, the whip-smart Agent 99. I don’t think she had a name, but she was awesome. Max had all the gadgets and got all the kudos, and 99 did all.of.the.things. She got him out of trouble, saved his life, organised him and eventually fell in love with that giant man-baby. Perhaps she found his incompetence endearing, or at least it stimulated some deep urge to protect and care for something defenceless and pathetic. It was a difficult show to watch, with all the canned LOLs and the frustration of watching Max ruin yet another careful plan, and still come out on top. But watch it we did, because we only had three other channels and one had subtitles. Get Smart was the best of a bad lot for us screen-starved kids of the 70s.

In Get Smart the protagonists are two spy agencies: KAOS and CONTROL. You can probably guess who the “goodies” were. For in art as in life, there is a thread that runs through society that control is good and chaos is bad. That it’s better to keep things in check, to be careful and mindful and evidence based, and to not offend anyone else in your progress toward self (or world) domination. To show up carefully coiffed and waxed and prepared and instagrammable, rather than making up things and adventures as you go.

We often hear women saying, “Oh, I’m a control freak,” with a wry smile of faux-contrition, when what they really mean is: I’ve got it all together. I’m like Agent 99, herding all the cats and juggling all the balls with effortless grace. Or at least that’s what I’m aiming for. And that aspiration and reality it completely fine and even beautiful, if that’s what fills your heart with joy, and makes you sing along to show-tunes.

For some of us, there may be a sneaking suspicion that we don the mask of “control freak” or family CEO because we know no other way, and perhaps we fear that everything will come tumbling down if we don’t keep control. That chaos will reign and there will be anarchy. Or at the very least the kids will go to school without their filtered water and their uniforms crumpled. 

This week we would love you to take a moment to sit in the (metaphorical) space above your family, your workplace and your friends. To watch the movements of all of the ‘agents’ and see what they get up to. Are there times when they have given up their autonomy or self-control to defer to you fix or find things? Do you have a desire to step in and help them when they seem incompetent, hence further enabling their incompetence? Can they navigate the world without your control? What chaos would ensue if you didn’t control it all? Is chaos even undesirable anyway?

There is no right or wrong here, we aren’t in the world of CONTROL OR KAOS- remember, we can embrace paradox and have both at the same time- but we do want you to notice what the TV series of your life looks like. And perhaps be a little curious as to the different roles the actors play, and where those scripts take them.

“All the world’s a stage” after all, so let’s have a look at what yours is like so we can decide if we like the way the next episode is heading.