How big is your WOT? And no, we aren’t talking about your ‘what’ as you might usually expect us to (yes, we know we love talking and talking about purpose, and encouraging you to get clear on yours), but no, this is a different WOT: your Window Of Tolerance.
Your Window Of Tolerance is your ability to stay in a calm and composed state, and function optimally despite whatever stress is going on around you. So the wider your WOT is, the more scope you have for cope.
WOT is the optimum arousal state for emotions to be integrated. The fun thing about your WOT is that you can often have many during the day, depending on what you are doing and how you are feeling. We all have things that narrow our Window Of Tolerance, so it can be useful to examine what pushes you out of the window, so you can plan around those things, and stay safe.
Generally speaking, your Window Of Tolerance reflects your emotional tolerance. This month we have been talking all about anger and what gets you fired up. At the other end of the WOT spectrum, you can get so overwhelmed that you just shut down, with the anger being buried down deeply, and possibly giving way to its festering cousin: resentment.
When you feel overwhelmed, you can go into a hyperaroused state (fight or flight) or you can go the other way, and get hypoaroused and shut down (which can be like a freeze state). Hyperarousal is when you feel angry, anxious or out of control. You might feel unsafe, impulsive, defensive and reactive. Hypoarousal is when you feel zoned out and numb, and you may have little or no energy, find it difficult to think, and feel disconnected from yourself and others.
Before we get too far, lets be reminded of what it feels like to be within your Window Of Tolerance: this is where things feel just right, where you are able to cope with the lemons that life throws your way, probably making some limoncello, or at least doing a liver cleanse with them (yes, we know, the liver is associated with anger). When you are cruising around inside your WOT you can think clearly, be empathetic, feel safe, stay present and be open and curious.
This week we would love you to give some careful thought to your Window Of Tolerance. You probably already know what some of your triggers are (we will chat more about this on the podcast), so it could be fun to have a think about the last time you were IN and OUT of your WOT, and what preceded that state.
Once you can identify your patterns for being in our out of the window, you can decide to stay within or move outside your WOT whenever you choose. (We aren’t joking- we know that you might WANT to do anger or shut down for various reasons of your own… The key is: once you know, you get to choose).
And in our opinion, it’s not variety that is the spice of life, its CHOICE.