Last week we looked at the cultural rules and differences we have (remember, we love to call them distinctions..and making distinctions is a sign of intelligence- so keep noticing them), and how when someone breaks one of our spoken or unspoken rules, we get all antsy.

When it’s an unspoken rule it can be very tricky to even realise why we are chagrined, but when we do, we tend to be a bit more accepting of the breach, after all, we had never actually laid it out for the people we are with- it was assumed knowledge. But what about when we feel like we HAVE stated what we want? What then?

Communication is a funny thing- sometimes we feel like we are being very clear and using language that the person we are engaging with will understand, and yet things can still get lost in translation. There are many reasons why this happens, but a big part is that we take in new info through our filter system (our values) and then apply our rules (our beliefs). If there is discord, then whole chunks of information can be rejected.

The same goes for the rest of the communication; both verbal and non-verbal. Seemingly unimportant things like body language, personal space, facial expressions and rapport can create another block, and that’s before we even get to the actual words we use.

So what about the words? Have you noticed, that if we don’t understand a word, don’t like a word, or even don’t resonate with a word then we make assumptions about the person speaking, or we delete what they are saying? It’s like the words can’t get through the pious gatekeeper. A fabulous example of this is swearing- swearing can make or break a conversation, depending on what you think about the obscenity. Often leading you to you being offended (spoiler alert: you can’t be offended, you choose to do offended). There are so many people doing offended these days, that sometimes it’s difficult to know quite what to say, lest we cause offence.

This week we would love you to observe some of the things you are choosing to “do offended” with. Is it the language that is used, the delivery, or is there something deeper? Have a play, and let us know what you find.