How did you go last week?
Did you have a think about some of your rules, and notice (shock) how different they can be from the people around you? Noticing personal rules and how much we use them to make sense of the world can be incredibly revealing, and so much fun, when we see them for what they are: just something we made up, and then chose (remember not choosing is still choosing, so it can even be an unconscious choice) to play by.
If you haven't noticed by now, both of us love a good rule, and we have lots of times when we look at each other mid-conversation and say, “Oh. I don't have that rule.” That statement right there is a huge pattern-interrupter, because it stops us in our tracks, and helps us to pull back the masks for a moment and see the world through each others eyes, or at least to try to (no one can ever do that fully of course).
So knowing your rules can make or break a relationship.
We hope you are playing along with this one, because we admit we are being a bit duplicitous. We are calling these things personal rules, when their other name is: BELIEFS. We have done this because we think it’s easier to muck around a little when we are having a laugh and calling them rules. We can smile at ourselves, which allows us to be receptive and stress free (just try and be stressed when your smiling- you can’t).
Time and time again when we coach, we notice when we ask people to identify their beliefs, things get all heavy. But rules? That’s just a bit of fun. Nice and light. Which is how we think life should be: fun (that’s one of our CWC rules, right there).
Irrespective of label, our rules come straight from our values, and being conscious of both, will allow us to the enjoy beauty of an examined life (go back and have a look at your values now, if you haven’t done that for a while).
So this week we would love you to think of one rule that you’d like to remove from your life (it is a full moon after all) and one rule that you’d love to add.
Your are the ruler of your rules. And you’ve got this.